Finding Balance…

May 9, 2008

So I woke up on Wednesday morning with a strange feeling in my head.  It was a feeling I hadn’t had in a long time.  In fact, I can’t remember the last time I felt this way.  The feeling was conjured up by questions – questions that needed to be answered at least a year ago.  “Matt, what are you going to do with your life?  Are you just going to sit here and wait for something to happen?  Are you ever going to come up with a vision for your life?”  I struggled with this because I have always been able to fall back on God.  Simple faith is enough to get me by, one day a time.  Interestingly, I only have this faith when it was easy.  It allows me to be lazy.  It says that I don’t have to do anything.  In some ways that’s a good thing, I suppose.  A Martin Luther quotation is pen written on a blank page in the back of my Bible.  It reads “I’ve tried to hold many things in my hands but I no longer possess them, but the things I put in God’s hands, I still possess.”  Truth drips off those words.  Everything I’ve ever tried to accomplish on my own has failed.  Even when things seem so right in the beginning, they eventually wither to dust in just a short time.  So I had to ask myself if it was OK to be passive when it came to my own life.  I realized that it’s not OK.  God created me uniquely.  He expects me to pursue the calling on my life and not just sit around and do nothing.  It’s been really easy for me to not worry about those things and to get really busy doing stuff, but that will never allow for the things that God has called me to do.  I recalled a verse in the Bible that spoke on vision.  Where there is no vision, the people perish (Proverbs 29:18).  I wondered if this verse could be applied to my life.  Guess what; it could.  I learned that where the verse spoke about vision it was actually talking about revelation from God.  And perish, in this context, is actually talking about wandering aimlessly (like sheep without a shepherd, so I’ve heard).  Where there is no revelation from God, the people will wander aimlessly like sheep without a shepherd.  I prayed to God that he would begin to reveal His vision, His revelation.  I no longer want to walk without a shepherd leading my way.  I want to find my comfort only in His rod and His staff.  It’s starting.  He began with getting me in.

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